meeting with Rinpoche- from Miao-hui, 1/1/2006

Dear Dr.Young,

I had a wonderful experience recently. Katherine was very excited and suggested me to let you know – she said, “Talk to Dr. Young!” I wait until now since I hope to think, calm down, and let everything truly goes into my heart.

One of my best friends sincerely believes in Tibetan Buddhism. Since he worried about me very much, he asked his tutor, a Rinpoche from Tibet, about me. After getting my name and my birthday, he mediated and said, “Your friend is with a deep pain, but don’t worry, she will pass because she meets a very good doctor.” “Take me to see her.” I was moved and I went to see the Rinpoche when I came back Tainan this weekend.

He is so peaceful, merciful and lively. He told me, “There is nothing to worry about. There is nothing needed to pay more attention. You just need to recite the sutra.” Then he gave me seven pilule that is above price from Tibet.

He said, “You don’t need to ask the fortune-teller or look for your pass life. Everything is in your heart. Yesterday is pass life. Today is present life. Tomorrow is future life. You do everything today will decide where you are going tomorrow. So you must clearly understand what you want be in the future. Recite the sutra sincerely. Otherwise, it is only the frog’s voice, no meaningful at all. At all time, recite the sutra and make a great vow. Then you will accustom to great vows, and your heart will change.” He said that their maharishi -17^th Gyalwang Karmapa (the meaning to their belief is the same as Dalai Lama) is in Tainan now, and he asked me to see him as it’s the predestined relationship.

I paid my respects to see the 17^th Gyalwang Karmapa on Sunday. He is always smile, a peaceful smile. He prayed for everyone. When he touched the top of my head, I was moved deeply - the feeling was so warm and wonderful. After back home, I feel that I am so lucky, with an immense gratitude.

I think about the Rinpoche’s words again and again. I repent in my deep heart. I am so stubborn. Every word you have already repeated instructing me so many times. You have told me that beautiful reality long time ago and tried to prevent me from suffering. I am really very blind and ignorant. I still can’t wake up even now. The ignorance is my karma.

So many people pray for me, and the beautiful things come into my life many times – the external power is so strong. However, I am still not thankful and lack of sincerity – the internal power in my heart is so weak. I bogged down on the physical uncomfortable feeling. The anxiety and worry occupy my mind. The Rinpoche taught me, “Whenever you take off your shoes, put down the troubles in the shoes, and only bring the happiness into the room. Whenever you put the shoes on, you can decide weather you want to put the trouble back or not.” I will practice the good way.

The Rinpoche reminds me that I meet a very good doctor. Indeed, you not only heal my disease, but also lead my mind. I re-read your e-mails many times. If I follow your steps, I will be healed. But I always go forward and backward.

I am more calm and stronger recently. I usually sleep for 40-50 minutes, and then wake up because of the pain. But the sleep quality is very good, so my body can have some rest and relax. But I still have many negative thoughts when the pain comes in. I know I can and need do something to alleviate the pain. Your message is clear. The analgesic is really not helpful, but I won’t take morphine. This persevere is not for you or anyone - it’s for myself. I don’t want my body and mind to tolerance the side effects. I don’t want to lose my thinking ability. I really don’t like the sleepy state that I had experienced. Now I betake to find some way to copy the pain, FIR, oil massage, castor oil packing, distract the attention, and relax my heart. I will pass.

I hope that I can remember these wonderful things, keep this feeling, and then live in. Katherine encouraged me to tell you. I wish to tell you that you are really a very, very good doctor. I am so fortunate to meet you. This fortunate must have some meaning - I will remember.